


I Want To Be With You

by Kanshikan



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-03-20 11:01:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3647856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanshikan/pseuds/Kanshikan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the story of Psycho Pass continued? What if Kougami decided to pay Tsunemori a visit? What if fate couldn't hold them apart any longer?<br/>The story begins during PP2 and goes on through its story, the movie and up to the future.<br/>Lime and lemons can be harvested in the later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Hunger. Desperation. Desire. Dependence. Addiction.

Kogami Shinya tried to find the right word. The right word for something he was afraid to name.

He failed miserably - none of those seemed to be close to what he was searching for.

He was too busy, anyway. The mercenary was hiding behind the leftovers of a stone wall. Sitting against a pile of rubble, he tried to find a clean surface. A gray block of stone would do it. The contents of his pockets were emptied before him – a small bottle of medical alcohol, a white cotton sheet that was the tablecloth for his self-made operation table. Few needles. Other stuff he was too busy to recognize. Kogami was in pain.

His jet-black hair was glued to his forehead – by sweat, blood and grime. His face was now decorated with fine cuts; small pieces of debris from an explosion had hit him. His torso had been hit by a huge chunk of stone. One of his feet was damaged (not broken though, he still could walk) and there was that of the most immediate concern: fresh blood was oozing from a large cut on his upper arm. He was almost caught by an explosion and he was lucky to be far enough to survive it. Sliding down the dusty wall, Kogami bit his lip in frustration. He intended to sew his left shoulder but the pain he had to endure for that wasn’t making him to look forward to it.

Recently he'd found out how to block the pain enough for it to be endurable. It was easy, really. All he had to do was to picture a certain face.  
The mercenary cut away his shirt on his shoulder to reveal the deep cut, the cloth damp from the blood and the cool air on the wound enough to make him wince. The alcohol he poured on his wound forced a cry from his mouth, but he bit his lip (until it bled) and concentrated on that one feeling without making a sound. The enemy could be nearby, he had to be quiet. As quiet as he could.

Tsunemori Akane. Her brown, naïve eyes. Her messy hair. The uniform that seemed too wide for her narrow shoulders.

And it did hurt. The pain was so sharp, he had to hiss loudly. Kogami checked the wound. Aside from the sharp piece of metal, his wound didn’t contain any other objects. He was lucky, really. It cut him deep enough, but it did so evenly without leaving a mess behind. He ripped and tossed the piece of metal away. It landed several meters away from him with a quiet, dull “clunk”. He had to go deeper. Closing his eyes, he concentrated again.

Her voice. So desperate and demanding. She didn’t want him to leave. He left her anyways.

'Don’t go,' she'd pleaded.

'It’s between Makishima and me,' he'd answered.

Instead of feeling the needle’s pain (how it pressed the layers of his skin together after a pull – a disgusting feeling), he felt a deep sting in his chest. He felt like a dog howling at the moon – there was something he could never have, no matter how much he reached towards the sky.  
The rest was a piece of cake. Sewing his wound shut, he breathed heavily, unevenly. His forehead felt even sweatier, he must have had a fever. Oh, he definitely had a fever.

So, what kind of feeling was it? Was it longing for something he couldn’t have? Yes. Was it sexual? Not entirely. Back then, when they were working together, maybe he lusted after her now and then. But he held himself so far back that any kind of feelings – be it sexual or romantic – were simply forbidden. Right now, there was nobody to hold him back and no reason, since Akane Tsunemori was nowhere close to him.

Right now he just wanted to be with her.

He wanted to be with her so badly.

A loud ring interrupted his longing feelings towards the only girl on his mind. Desmond, his new boss, was finally somewhere close by.

“This is Alpha. You requested backup, Delta?”

The loud voice rustled in the communication device. Kogami fished his radio out of his pocket and spoke to it like to a good friend.

“This is Delta. About time. Took you look enough. I had to sew a wound shut. I lost a lot of blood. But the information that you requested, I obtained it.” 

A loud cheering could be heard from the other side of the radio. “Shinya, you are my favorite! This hard drive is worth millions! All of that information about our backstabbing government--I could kiss you right now!”

The raven haired man could only smirk, but had to wince quietly because of the stinging pain in his shoulder. The wound was closed and disinfected and the bleeding had stopped. He still needed immediate first aid though, Kogami was not a machine.

“How about a different kind of reward? I don’t want your wet kisses. I want a short vacation to Japan. I have someone who I want to visit.”

The radio went quiet. A few seconds later, Desmond’s voice answered in a sober voice. “That can be arranged…”

And he would be with her.


	2. Nightly visitor

Akane Tsunemori pushed the metallic button inside the elevator of her apartment complex. The cabin was lit in a dim light and the air was sticky. A moth was flying against the lights, hitting its body several times against the lamps. The young woman was tired and felt drained of any energy. Day by day she tried to solve the case with Kamui Kirito, and so far she and her team didn’t do well. Just like the moth, Akane felt she was hitting her head aimlessly against dim lamps, without any bright light guiding her. 

But she stayed strong. She needed to continue investigations – or those who died by the hands of Kamui would never find peace. She needed to protect the law. The elevator brought her swiftly to her destination, the shiny doors opened and Akane walked towards her flat. She opened the door quickly, hinges squeaking quietly as the young woman entered, and suddenly she froze in her tracks.

A gentle shiver ran down her back, her senses warning her that something was off. The hair on the back of her head stood up – her detective intuition told her that she was in danger. 

Her interior- holo wasn’t reacting to her arrival in her very own home. The cute jellyfish was nowhere to be seen. Which could mean only one thing – somebody must have turned it off. Akane stepped further inside, calling her comrades right now wouldn’t make any sense. If someone truly intruded her privacy, this person would escape over the balcony even before the first enforcers would arrive. She had to take everything in her very own hands. So, Akane acted quickly. Without turning on the lights, she quickly started to search for the intruder. The door to her bedroom was opened, she heard quiet and heavy steps. The young inspector let the adrenaline in her blood do the rest – she burst in the room and as she spotted the dark silhouette of a tall man, she charged towards him. The tall man, clothed in tactical clothing and a balaclava to conceal his face, seemed to be too surprised and Akane took advantage of that the moment. Her body had memorized the movements during her training and now she was replaying one of the many self-defense scenarios that she had learned from Ginoza. A quick jab to his stomach and the man was immobilized – that went much better than expected. Her furniture didn’t allow him the freedom of evading, the space was limited, and so she used another chance since she didn’t want to risk anything. A mighty kick to his side should get him to his knees, but the power of the kick was not well-measured and the man fell against her massive closet, hitting his head in the process. A loud noise followed, bones against wood, and Akane startled. Did she… did she just kill someone? 

The body didn’t move anymore. There was no reason for fear now – she turned on the lights in the small room and saw that her computer was turned on. She felt her knees weaken – the adrenaline wore off and now she really needed a break. But that could wait. She grabbed her phone to dial the number of Togane, but a low groan distracted her. The man on the floor moved. And before she could do anything against it, he grabbed his baklava and pulled it from his head. The face that surfaced before her eyes made Akane drop her mobile phone on the floor.

Steel-grey eyes, messy black hair and blood on his right temple where the man hit his head thanks to her previous attack. "I did expect you to become tougher, but you could be a little softer", he groaned, his voice filled with pain and concern. Akane glanced at him, her expression quite shocked. She did expect an assassin or one of Kamui's people. Who she didn't expect was her ex-enforcer. She swallowed the lump that had been in her throat all this time and gave Kogami a strict gaze.

"My bad, I didn't expect you to be alive, either. You're under arrest!" she warned. The lying man grinned as a reply, but his face changed immediately. He clenched his teeth, pressing his eyes shut and groaning breathlessly. Was he panting? Then, it hit her like a brick. She brought the attacker down too easily. What she pulled off was reckless and stupid (that's what Gino would say, she was sure of that) and she only succeeded because her 'attacker' was already hurt in the first place!

The cold gaze disappeared immediately from her face and a look full of concern and worry decorated it instead. She ducked down to the lying man, Kogami didn't even make an attempt to stand up and was obviously trying to stay conscious. Akane put a gentle hand to his forehead and almost flinched. He was hot, he definitely had fever.

"Are you sick?" she asked calmly. Kogami shook his head. He pointed at his left shoulder. She rolled his sleeve up to reveal a new stitching wound on the said spot. However, the wound was swollen and wet and appeared to be especially hot. Akane found the source of the trouble, the stitching wound   
was infected. But what was she supposed to do now? She had a dangerous criminal in her bedroom! 

 

She started panicking inwardly. What could she do? Her head felt cloudy, her senses numb. There was only one solution to the problem. Akane stood up and walked to her desk. The blue pack of spinel cigarettes laid untouched on the surface. She calmly pulled one cigarette out of the package, the soft paper rustled under her fingers and calmed Akane a little. This little ritual could make her concentrate in any situation. She took her lighter and lit the cigarette, ignoring the curious look on Kogami's face. When the smoke started to rise, she put the cigarette in her already waiting ash tray. Breathing in slowly, she concentrated on the rich smell of tobacco and the calming effect of the nicotine. This was when memories of Karanamori Shion started to flash in her head, the smoke enveloped her and carried Akane towards her memories of her first aid crash course with the beautiful blonde. Only a few seconds passed, the young woman however felt like she lived through the memories of several hours.

A quick sprint to the first aid kit in her bathroom, she grabbed the content and threw it on the floor in her bedroom. "On the bed!" she ordered to the barely conscious man, but he only gave her another look of pure confusion. In the end, Tsunemori admitted, he needed some help with that and helped to him to get up, leaning him towards the bed, the heavy body falling without protest on the sheets.

The black-haired mercenary was confused. “I am…” his head felt foggy and he was having a fever – therefore he didn’t understand what was happening to him, “Not ready for whatever…you want to do to me on a bed” and this was the part where Akane laughed loudly. 

“I’m going to do many, many terrible things to you” she promised and Shinya completely fell unconscious, head falling back and eyes closed. 

Akane checked his breathing. Leaning in close to his face, she heard shallow breathing. He would be fine. She checked her first aid kit and found scissors. Slowly and carefully she cut open his shirt to reveal his upper arm, the infected area. She applied an antiseptic on a cotton ball and disinfected the wound (Kogami’s breath hitched) to be able to inspect it closer. The stitching was done well. When Masaoka died, team 1 found themselves without anyone with first aid knowledge on field. Therefore Shion taught her pretty much everything she ever needed to know. And even the things she shouldn’t know! She could easily help someone give birth now, she used to joke, but now it was nice that her medical knowledge was actually needed. 

The cigarette smoke continued to spread in the room, never had Akane felt so calm and sure of herself.

The sewn skin didn’t need to be cut open again. The steams seemed fine. Only underneath, some pus seemed to leak from the wound. If she cut open the wound again, she’d have to close it. Could she handle the bleeding? Or the fact that the skin might not hold the thread anymore? Therefore, all she would do is to give Kogami some antibiotics and pain killers. Akane took a small syringe and opened its package. She took a small bottle and read the label. That was what she was searching for – a good antibiotic that did have close to zero side effects. In the past, she heard, people used morphine, penicillin and other meds. She was happy that the current medicine had found a more reliable medication than they had in the past. Now, with just a few hours sleep, Kogami would be alright again.

After giving him the shot (she missed the vein the first time, good that nobody was there to laugh at her), Akane put her medical equipment away. The cigarette stopped producing smoke a long time ago. Everything around her was quiet. Only Kogami’s quiet breathing could be heard. Now, Akane had time to observe her intruders face.   
He lost weight, he had more facial hair (didn’t shave today for sure). The smoke of cigarettes was nowhere on him. His hair was flat, as if he didn’t have time to style it. He seemed exhausted. How did he get inside? Her balcony have been opened. What was his goal? Her computer was turned on but on the first glance nothing changed. The history was empty and no new files were added. As if she caught him on time.

Akane turned the light in her room off. It would be suspicious if she would be still awake at this hour. She also discovered that Shinya hacked her interior-holo, probably to hide his arrival in her home, deleting any intruder alerts that were there. She sat across her bed, keeping an eye on the runaway. Why was he here? Why did he have to pop into her life right now? 

She didn’t notice how she fell asleep, sitting upright with her shoulders hanging down, as if she was the most tired person in this world.  
And that was a mistake because her intruder, Kogami Shinya, was now wide awake.


	3. Epitome of diginity

Kogami slowly opened his tired eyes. He was lying on a small bed, but when he tried to move, his body didn't listen. His wandering eyes fell on Akane who was sitting across the bed. Her eyes were closed and her head hung to the side. The young woman seemed to be tired and drained, concern on her sleeping face. The silver moonlight fell onto her face, illuminating her small frame. She seemed like an angel - just like two years ago just before he left his previous life, Akane sat at his bed and kept watching over him. Or at least, she tried and failed miserably when it came to staying awake. Smiling slightly, he wondered who taught her fighting and felt a small sting of pain because it wasn't him. Shinya decided to wake her up. It's not like he could run away at the moment anyways.

"Akane..." 

"Tsunemori Akane" - nothing. 

"Kanshikan!” A loud call echoed through the room, the woman in question jumped from her chair, clearly startled by the sudden awakening. Akane looked around and remembered. She had a sleeping criminal in her bedroom and now it seemed like he was conscious.

Akane, even though just awoken, tried to retain her composure and stay cool.

“It has been a long time…” Akane greeted him, her voice rather cold and emotionless. Her eyes were like ice and her gaze unwavering. She sat back so that she would sit comfortably in her chair.

“Uncuff me.” Kogami had his arms behind his back, held together by an old-fashioned set of handcuffs.

“Maybe later. I’d rather keep you still.” She didn’t even budge.

“I can’t lie like this. It’s rather uncomfortable.” He protested. 

“ You can lie on your side if you feel uncomfortable. Sorry but right now I’m more interested in questioning you. Why are you here?”

“What will you do? Will you arrest me and hand me in to Sybil?” He shot back at her, his voice filled with anger.

Akane cocked her head, a small smile forming on her lips. “That might depend on your answers.”

Shinya was in trouble. The woman before him seemed to become a cold-blooded professional. The first time since a whole eternity Kogami Shinya felt cornered. Therefore, he didn’t plan to lie to this woman anymore.

“I came to warn you.”

Kogami told her everything. How he climbed her balcony and entered her apartment. How he hacked her interior holo and deleted all records of his arrival. In her computer, he plugged in a flash drive. It contained information about a traitor. The first division of MWPSB had a member who was painting his surroundings with black over a very long time. Akane couldn’t believe that Togane was such a complicated case. Never did she know the truth behind her actual enforcer. The file contained too much information for one evening. When asked about the source of the information, Shinya entrusted her that a friend of his was a hacker and could log into the police computers easily. Who that was and where to find him, of course, remained untold.

“So you say, he is some kind of an experiment by the Togane Corporation?” Akane raised her right eyebrow in disbelief.

“Exactly. There is more to it, check the file when you get around to it.”

“So you just came to warn me?” She still sounded so disbelieving that it almost hurt in his chest.

“…Yeah.” He had to stop himself, to think about the whole deal. He, indeed, put himself in so much danger to warn his ex-inspector. It wasn’t the first time he went to Japan after his escape, but definitely the first time he had to watch out for himself so well. But he wasn’t successful and underestimated the situation. According to his data, Akane Tsunemori should have been out of her apartment for the evening. His information was not reliable. Maybe it was about time to get himself out of this mess.

“Anyways… what did you do with me? Why can’t I move?”

“You had an inflammation on your arm which caused you fever and its consequences. So I decided to give you Penemorphine. You might feel slightly immobilized by it for a few hours. But your inflammation should be gone… and the symptoms of concussion… if you happen to show any.” Akane’s unwavering glance became softer and she actually looked away. Was she sorry for what she did?

“Right… I remember, you hit me. I’m impressed. You’ve grown a lot. So, do you actually still want to arrest me?” Kogami asked coyly, raising his head a little. He was able to move his fingers now and maybe, if he tried, lift an arm.

 

Then, everything about Akane changed. The seemingly cool detective started laughing quietly.

“I’m sure you know the answer already. If I wanted you arrested, you would have been at the headquarters a long time ago. So, what are you up to now? Where do you live? What do you do for a living? I bet you’re staying abroad.” The atmosphere changed and the whole room seemed more comfortable, it felt as if they never parted their ways at some point in their lives and just held a normal conversation.

 

“I’m helping people to obtain freedom. I think it’s better for you if you don’t know too many details which could be used against you. I am abroad the most time, coming back to Japan now and then whenever it’s necessary. Sorry I can’t tell you more than this, but this is for the better.”

 

Akane pondered about it and didn’t ask further, so he decided to be the one who would ask questions.

 

“Maybe it’s about time you take these cuffs off me?” He asked carefully, wary of the fact he could be refused. To his surprise, Akane stood up and moved closer to the bed. He heard a quiet ring of keys in her hand and therefore rolled obediently to his side to give her access to his hands. Only a few moments later he was free. Akane sat on the edge of the bed, enough space to give each other privacy and enough closeness for having a nice conversation. Turning back, Kogami could see the woman beside him closer than during the whole evening. “So, how is division one? How is Gino?”

 

Akane, despite her tired looks, started to smile when she told him about her new division members. The hard time they were having when Masaoka died, Professor Saiga’s new job. Or the new drug-addicted kid who seemed to be a genius. Kogami listened, even allowed himself the luxury to stretch himself out on the bed, which seemed spacious now that there were two people on it with so much distance in between them. Akane found great comrades by the sound of it, only this Mika seemed to be a perfect Sybil citizen and that Togane guy… she’d learn the truth about him soon enough.

She told him about Ginoza’s prosthetic arm and how hard it was to get used to it. How the enforcer started to smile again after one year only. Her voice sounded drained now, even melancholic. And when he said that it couldn’t have been that bad without him, she was obviously offended by his words.

 

“By the way, when did you start to smoke?” He asked, a relaxed smile on his face. However, his expression changed suddenly when the young inspector started to cry. Her eyes became teary, her face was red and pearl-shaped tears rolled down her smooth cheeks, noisy sobs escaped her mouth as she bit her lip.

 

“What’s wrong?” He managed to blur out bitterly, trying to comprehend what he did to upset her. But deep inside, he knew the answer. The events that happened two years ago pained her deeply and by showing up, he threw salt on the barely closed wounds.

 

“When you left two years ago… I could have saved you.” Kogami suddenly had the urge to interrupt her, but she continued confidently. “I had a contract with the system itself – by handing Makishima in alive, you would have been spared. I was so close… But it all slipped through my fingers.” Akane stopped crying, the rush of emotions already over and her face still red and swollen. It pained Kogami deeply to see her like this and to know that he was at fault.

 

“If you were successful in saving me back then, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Back then, when I killed Makishima, I was a hunting dog of Sybil. I would attack whatever was thrown before my nose. I’ve let go of everything that was important for me for one single, misleading goal. I was left empty and was on the run. Now I know what is important to me. I’m not a detective anymore, but my true goal stayed – I want to protect people. And it’s only thanks to my mistakes that I realized that once again, Inspector.” The smug grin on his face was encouraging and addicting. Shinya managed to lift his arm up to wash the last tear from Akane’s smooth cheek with the back of his hand. She was surprised by the action, but didn’t flinch. Instead, she smiled and shook her head.

 

“I guess you are right.” It made no sense into explaining him her plan when she wanted to save him. Telling him the secrets of Sybil wasn’t an option either, if she ever would, then it would be at another point in their lives. For her own safety and, of course, for his.

 

They spent the rest of the night awake, waiting until Kogami was back to his feet. The inflammation on his arm was gone about now – modern medicine was miraculous.

They laughed most of the time, catching up to each other's lives without intruding each other's personal space. Akane told him about her plans to move out. She had looked around but hadn’t found the right thing yet. He suggested her that she should get a bigger place, her salary allowed her a luxury that she deserved.   
When Kogami was able to stand up, his stance still unsure on his feet, Akane hesitated to lead him out. Fiddling with her fingers, Akane thought on how to keep the ex-enforcer to stay longer. "Are you hungry by any chance?" she asked hesitantly, Shinya's eyes widened and he showed excitement. 

"You bet. Got any leftovers? I'll scrap everything for you."

"No, but I can print you something quick." she promised. 

Disappointment surfaced on his face for one second, but got replaced by a smile rather quickly. 

"Nah. Don't eat printed stuff at all. Never liked it, it's absolutely unhealthy. I got also spoiled by Kagari and whenever possible I cook for myself. Maybe I'm more lucky next time."

"Are you implying I should cook for you?” She raised her eyebrow again, giving him a sly grin. But then, realization hit her and her eyes widened with surprise, child-like curiosity was mirrored in Akane’s eyes. “Wait, what? Next time? There will be a next time? You will visit again?!”

Kogami sighed and brushed his hair with his hand.

“It depends, I visit Japan quite often lately. So if you want, I can visit you.”

Akane couldn’t contain her smile at his words.   
“But I don’t think I will be around for at least one week. So, take care of yourself during that time.” 

They said their good byes, Shinya left. The balcony was his escape route, he used a rope to climb it down, just as he used it to come up. While escaping the area through a goods transport train that would bring him to his destination without any trouble, Shinya frowned rather worriedly. What were those letters on Akane’s bedroom walls? WC? What kind of trouble did she get herself into again? And what kind of trouble would he get her into if someone would get wind of what she did? Leaving a criminal alive and letting him visiting her… He sure meant trouble for her. He shouldn’t have visited her, he shouldn’t visit her at all. He grid his teeth and watched the sun rise, small rays of sunshine fell into the wagon. 

He couldn’t make himself stay away from her after all.

Akane sighed and closed her balcony after she was sure Kogami Shinya was nowhere to be seen. She closed her blinds and turned her interior holo on again. Her personal AI companion, Candy, greeted her soundly as if nothing was wrong. No traces of the visit of Kogami Shinya were left in its system. She stripped her clothes and dropped onto her bed. It was so soft and inviting and Akane started to believe that it all was just a dream, Kogami couldn’t have just barged into her flat and life out of nowhere, right? And then she caught that smell… The smell of someone’s skin and cold cigarette smoke on her pillow – and she knew right away, this was everything but a dream. Her heart pounded loudly, she closed her eyes and felt sleep pulling at her… and then her alarm went on, ringing loudly through the room, Candy greeted her cheerfully and informed her of her shift that started in one hour.


	4. Time goes on

Many things happened after Kogami Shinya paid her a visit that night.

Her grandmother was dead.

She and her team almost died.

The terrorist that they went after was dead.

Her team member betrayed her, just as expected.

The system evolved.

And Kogami hadn’t come back.

How long had it been? Two weeks? Akane stood in her empty kitchen and sighed quietly. A lit cigarette in her ashtray filled the room with warm smoke and the tense inspector calmed down. It was as if the appearance of her ex-colleague brought misfortune over her after he showed up again – like an ill omen. But even in the hardest times, when she didn’t know what to do, she still thought of him. She still lit her cigarettes. And she still hoped that he would appear again.

Minutes passed slowly, as if time stood still and Akane looked back at everything that happened today. Just a few hours ago, she promised her leader death. The system that controlled her whole life, she challenged it. Was she going to be okay?

Her whole flat was filled with boxes. Her personal belongings were stacked away safely and tomorrow in the morning, somebody would have to pick them up. Her new house was spacious (Gino-chan picked that one out for her and she really liked it from the start) and was rather further away from the headquarters. But with the new speed-train line that was only several meters away, travel to work would only take five minutes.

Then, suddenly, a loud thud came from her balcony and Akane held her breath. Had someone come to kill her again? Or was that…

It was him. The familiar frame stood on her balcony and knocked gently in the glass door. Akane hurried to its side and opened it, letting her visitor inside. He was clothed somewhat different today, still tactical clothing that hugged his body tightly. He wasn’t hurt, but there was dust in his hair and his eyes showed black circles beneath them. And still, as soon as he came inside, a smile appeared on his chapped lips.

Akane’s eyes were wide in awe as she saw him. As if he was a mystical creature coming from an ancient world, a legend coming true and a miracle being told. And the first thing that he did, after closing the door behind him was take her in a firm, tight hug, pressing her against his large frame.

“Kogami-san!” Was the only thing she managed to squeak before he shushed her.

“I’m sorry, Sorry. I couldn’t come earlier. I’ve read them all, all the reports. Your grandmother was killed. And then terrible things happened. I’m sorry.” He was mumbling feverishly.

Akane didn’t have any other choice but to breathe into his shirt as tears started to form in her eyes, however she smelled the smell of gunpowder and cigarette smoke on his clothes and suddenly she felt really warm and happy. The urge to cry disappeared without any trace. 

Akane wanted to tell him that she was alright and that everything will be fine, but little did she know that her ex-enforcer had different plans.

Kogami’s face was suddenly in front of her, a gentle calloused hand on her cheek guided her swiftly closer. His breath tickled her lips and he was gentle once they touched. Lips dry and cracked, he caressed her with closed eyes and slow kisses. Emotions transferred through their lips like electrons, sparks were flying and the warmth that radiated from him filled her whole body. Kogami broke the kiss to hold her face between his hands, eyes still closed and breath uneven. Akane felt Shinya’s heart beating loudly against his ribs as he opened his eyes slowly, his gaze gentle and loving.

The man pulled her closer back into the source of warmth and she relaxed fully, sighing contently while her hands rested on Shinya’s back.

“You always make everyone worry. So reckless…” Was that an indication that he worried about her? And why was he shaking? But then again, so was she. It must have been the excitement because that short, tiny kiss was even better than the promises she got from romantic movies and novels. An explosion of feelings and perceptions.

It was a perfect moment… and therefore its fate was to be doomed. Kogami’s communicator – a very odd design, it looked almost like a walkie-talkie – beeped loudly. He groaned in annoyance, stepped aside, away from Akane’s gentle grip and turned away. What she heard afterwards, was perfect English.

“Yes. I’m at the West Center Street. How long will you take to be there? Fine, I’m waiting.”

Akane listened to the conversation. Shinya clearly lied to his colleague. The West Center Street was quite a long run from here. So, he didn’t want to tell that person his current location. Probably to protect her.

The atmosphere clearly had changed between them. Shinya scratched the back of his neck nervously, shifting from one leg to another.

“Hey. I need to leave urgently. Sorry I didn’t warn you that I don’t have much time and we have barely talked and everything, but…”

Akane laughed quietly. “It’s okay, I understand. Hurry, West Center is quite far from here.”

Kogami was ready to go. He slowly opened the door to the balcony, but he couldn’t leave the way things were now. He needed a good bye. Swiftly, he turned around and faced Akane, who was yet again frozen in one spot, not sure what to expect. Would he kiss her again or would he…?

Kogami put his hand on the top of her head and ruffled up her hair. “Take care of yourself. You’ll be hearing from me!” Was all he said before he turned around to leave.

When Akane came back to her senses, she shook her head to make her hair go back as before.  
“You too! Take care!” Kogami waved her off as a farewell before disappearing into the night.

He was gone as fast as he arrived.

Akane had to spend her last night in the apartment on her couch. Her bed was already packed and ready to be moved. She pressed her face into the pillow and her face grew hotter. Blushing furiously, she remembered the feeling of Kogami’s lips on hers.

She couldn’t sleep the whole night.

 

Three days barely passed. Akane stood on a large balcony of the café she just ate at. Her friend, Minase, just left. They had a wonderful meeting and caught up on each other’s lives again. Yuki’s death anniversary came closer and they decided to visit her grave together at that day. Minase kept complaining about work and the lack of boyfriends, telling Akane that she was sure, she wouldn’t be able to find a husband. Akane explained her that it wasn’t true and she would be able to find happiness one day if she strived for it.  
After they parted their ways, Akane decided to enjoy the sunset on the balcony. The café was on top of a skyscraper, nothing unordinary in the world of property led by Sybil. The sun reflected in the mirrored windows and the whole city was shining red. The loud ring of her communicator woke her from her daydreams and as she looked at the device, her eyes widened.

“Unknown number…” She mumbled in disbelief. The last time someone called her like this, it was…

“Tsunemori speaking…” Akane answered the call, getting a headphone out of her purse. The tiny ear piece would make sure nobody else heard her and her talking partner, the device worked by picking up the vibrations of her skull, being able to hear the quietest whispers this way.

“Hello, inspector.” The familiar raspy voice greeted her. “I’m on a safe line, our conversation is untraceable.”

“As expected from you. “ She avoided wording names. The balcony was crowded and she shouldn’t be visible by the surveillance cameras, but the ‘what if’s’ didn’t leave her alone.

She heard the wind blowing quietly on the opposite line.

“So, can you talk right now, inspector?” Kogami asked, his voice accompanied by interest.

“Yeah. Right now is rather convenient, I’m in a busy area. So, nobody will really notice.” A gentle breeze blew cool wind to her face and Akane relaxed. What did she talk with her friend all the time about, anyways? Was that an ordinary conversation? She could try.

“So, is it something important? Or did you just want to catch up with things?” She asked shyly.

A dry, low laughter could be heard from the other side. “The latter. I wanted to be around a week ago and didn’t make it. So I decided to drop you a call.” So, he really just wanted to talk.

After a short break, he continued. “Did I… offend you in any way the last time?” Now, things were going to become interesting.

“You sure did.” Akane teased, “You said I always worry everyone. And you stalked me. How do you know what happened to me?” Actually, she was serious. He could at least tell her his sources of information he has been getting about her.

“Sorry. It was just… that time. It caught my eyes. I guess the situation was rather unusual so I had to make some research. I usually don’t stalk people. I…I really don’t.” he really sounded somewhat sorry.

“I trust you on that one. However, this was the only thing I was offended by on that evening.” Before she could say anything else, a loud bang echoed through her headset.

“Kogami-san???” She blurted out bluntly, was that a gunshot? It was louder. Her heart banged loudly against her chest. Did something happen to him?

“Heard you loud and clear.” He sounded cocky, so he was alright. She sighed quietly in relief. What a jerk. What was he doing anyways? And as if he sensed that question, he continued. “This is actually top secret, but I will tell you as an excuse for my shameless behavior. I’m in a desert right now, sniping. Camera drones.” He added before she could ask if he was shooting humans.

“And in the middle of the heat and the adrenaline, I wondered. Why not calling you?”

Akane chuckled quietly. “I feel honored. So I wondered. Now that you are sort of back, have you had contact to everyone else in the group? Did you ever think about contacting Gino?”  
Shinya sighed. “If I would ever meet him again, I bet he’d punch me.”

She nodded to herself. “Yeah, I think so, too. He even said that once. I want to punch Ko-chan in the face.”

Somebody was really offended by that statement.

“Hmph. We’ll see who punches who first when the time is right. Oh, by the way… Are you free, Friday at nine?” His voice became gentler when he spoke the last words.

“Huh?” She asked in disbelief. What that an invitation for a date?


	5. What if I say I shall not wait?

Akane stepped quietly into her hallway after a long day of work. Her house was dark but she didn’t feel the necessity to flick on the lights. She felt completely safe here, especially since she knew today her house was guarded.

She had only been living here for a few days, but already felt the familiarity. The house was huge, she had all the rooms she ever needed. And she felt free here. No secured hallways, no cameras in front of her house and no interior AI. Candy was a nice companion who had helped her through her first years away from home. Akane hadn’t wanted to be alone back then. But now, the young woman knew. Adulthood and independency always brought loneliness along. Except tonight, tonight she had company.

Her visitor lay sprawled out on her new, big couch in the living room. The piece of furniture was comfortable, she herself liked to doze on it. Kogami Shinya, obviously asleep, was occupying it. A book was lying on his chest (Akane actually had never seen a real book before), a small paperback, but it was too dark to read what it said. Kogami wore a black T-Shirt and camo pants. Custom-tailored suits seemed to be a luxury a fugitive on the run couldn’t afford. She smelled cigarette smoke on him and his ashtray stood on the coffee table, so he must have smoked before falling asleep. Which was fine, considering that she had allowed him to smoke here. The air conditioner in her new home was amazing, it removed smells from her house almost immediately without making any audible sounds. She loved the place. She loved everything about it.

Kogami looked really tired. His face was pale and his hair matted. His sleep must have been short. Something else had caught her eye. His shirt was too tight, it hugged his physical form too well, the muscles too defined through the thin fabric. Unfortunately for her, she couldn’t see well, her only source of light was the moon that lit up the room slightly through the window. She hovered slightly above the sleeping man. That shirt was really too tight! Akane couldn’t look away!

“Do I have something on my face?” A sleepy voice asked. Akane startled, tripping on her own feet, falling on her butt. Kogami laughed quietly.

How hadn’t she noticed that he had opened his eyes? Shinya was awake now, stretching his body but staying on the couch. Akane looked at him in awe, remembering how she got herself into this mess in the first place.

“Oh, by the way… Are you free, Friday at nine?” Their conversation on the phone lasted longer than expected. Was he asking her out on a date?

“I have late shift on Friday, but I’ll be home at 11.” She mumbled quietly, slightly surprised at the topic.

“So, I… actually wanted to ask you if you’d let me spend the night at your place? I’m dispatched in Japan and I can only be picked up in a few days. Instead of searching for a place to stay, I wondered: Why not visit a friend?” Shinya’s voice was quite calm.

“I wouldn’t mind that…” Akane’s cheeks were quickly colored crimson by the bright sunset.

After a few more minutes they ended the call like two good friends. Kogami knew where she’d put the keys for him and she knew what to expect when she came back from work on Friday at 11.

And now, he was actually here. Akane stood up from the floor, groaning unpleasantly from her awkward fall. To distract him somehow from her staring, she asked:

“What were you reading?”

Kogami remembered the book on his chest. He obscured the cover as if it was the first time he saw it.

“A collection of classic poetry,” he read out loud, looking back at Akane, expecting a reply.

“Go on!” She cocked her head slightly, “Read it.”

He looked into her eyes. Damn it, she was serious about it. He obeyed and sighed quietly. His fingers went through the old pages and found something that was suitable. Squinting his eyes, he concentrated on the small letters, pages barely lit and with only the moonlight supporting him. But if she wanted him to read, he would.

“What if… I say I shall not wait?” Kogami gave her another glance. Akane listened as interest showed in her eyes.

“What if I burst the fleshly gate

And pass, escaped, to thee?

What if I file this mortal off,

See where it hurt me, - that’s enough, -

And wade in liberty?“

He could have stopped here, but the poem was great. It was fun to read and he put his soul and emphasis in his voice.

“They cannot take me anymore, -

Dungeons may call, and guns implore;

Unmeaning, now, to me

As laughter was an hour ago,

Or laces, or a traveling show,

Or who died yesterday!“

Akane listened the whole time, her mouth slightly agape. Kogami read so well, it was mesmerizing. His voice was raspy and tired, and the poem fit him like it was made for him. Like he was pouring his soul out right before her.

“It’s beautiful. Who is it from?” Akane finally managed to gather her words again. The poem left her speechless.

Kogami had his book already over his face, hiding it from Akane’s admiring eyes. He breathed in the dusty, moldy smell of the old pages. It was perfect.

“Emily Dickinson, a female writer from the 19th century.” He pulled the book away, revealing his longing look to her – for closeness and for sleep.

“Cm’ere…” He mumbled quietly, patting the space on the couch beside him. Akane nodded and came closer, sitting down on that spot. She could only wonder if his eyes had always been so blue, because back then they looked mostly grey. However, her thoughts were cut short when a strong arm pulled her down, she was lying beside him now.

“So tired. Haven’t slept for two days. Always on the watch…” He yawned, which she interpreted as ‘I am too tired to do anything weird, all I want is sleep’. Akane squirmed slightly, turned around and searched for a drawer hidden in her couch. She opened it and got a blanket out, which was large and soft and tried to pull it over them both. Kogami helped and tucked her under it, wrapping one arm around her tightly, pulling her close.

Akane sighed sweetly. After the death of her grandmother and the stress from Togane’s betrayal, this platonic closeness with someone was exactly what she needed. She pushed her face against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Kogami was already asleep. And it took her only a few seconds to follow him.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Oh how she regretted her choice! Falling asleep on her couch fully clothed! Her freshly washed work attire needed to wander in the laundry after just one day. Her skirt, her blouse, everything! She woke up in a funny position and now her neck hurt. Of course, Kogami was nowhere to be seen. But the refreshing scent of coffee was inviting her to the kitchen. Instead of following it, she decided to take a shower quickly and tip-toed upstairs to her room where her bathroom was located.

It was slightly frustrating that she couldn’t walk downstairs naked. She was so used to it, but having visitors always had its flaws. She dressed in comfortable home clothing and dried her hair with a towel before she went downstairs again. The blanket on the couch was folded nicely. She guessed it was clever to avoid the topic of yesterday’s classic reading sessions.

Breakfast went better than expected. Kogami didn’t mention anything from the night before aside from the time of his arrival. His book rested on the table, coffee was steaming from his cup as Akane chewed on her cereals. The mood was weird and something was off. The ex-enforcer seemed to be tensed up.

“So, I’ve been thinking, inspector. I am thankful that you let me stay the night. But you let a criminal inside your house, yet again. And now you help me hiding. You do realize that you might be a criminal by now?” His face was serious and his stare cold. Quite the contrast from the previous night. Right now, his eyes seemed to be that familiar steel-grey again.

But Akane didn’t flinch away from his gaze. She continued eating her breakfast, not impressed by his statement at all.

“First of all, in my house you are not a criminal. You aren’t underdoing criminal activities from here. Second, in my house I am not an inspector. Give me some rest from work at least at home.” She sighed, more for show than anything.

“And last but not least: I can only become a criminal if my psycho pass gets cloudy. And it didn’t since yesterday. Which means I am not doing anything illegal. Got it?” She picked up her tablet from the table, shoving it into Kogami’s face. The Psycho Pass measuring application showed up on its transparent screen.

“See? Crystal-clear. I am not in the wrong.”

It was Shinya’s turn to stare at her in awe.


	6. Cold showers

Love was a weird feeling to Akane. It was that howling pain in the chest that nagged against her ribs. The first time she noticed it was when she met Kogami. Whenever she cried because of him, that pain went deeper. When he left, it cut in her heart like a knife cut through butter. Then, it became numb. She forgot it existed until she smelled cigarette smoke.  
And now it was the addicting feeling of breathlessness whenever they were close, the tickling sensation on her skin, the goose bumps that crawled down her back. And she loved every second of it.  
Akane Tsunemori sat in her office chair, eyes looking far away into the distance. She balanced a pen on her fingers unconsciously, sighing at Karanamori Shion who had just walked into the office. The blonde usually didn’t show up outside of her laboratory but boredom had overtaken her. Besides, Akane was so much fun to watch as of late…

“Akane-chan, you must be having great sex lately. That expression on your face says it all!” She purred, putting a loose strand of hair behind her ear. The younger woman gave her a weird look, still twisting her pen between her fingers.

“Eh? Am I wrong?” Shion exclaimed and Akane took a good look at her. Karanamori looked more and more beautiful every day. How did she do it? Akane didn’t know. She smoked, spent the whole day in the darkness of her laboratory and barely worked out, yet she still stayed in perfect shape.

“It’s not sex.” The ever-quiet Yayoi noted. She was working on a report but couldn’t help but comment on her girlfriend. Her eyes narrowed as if she knew everything.

“She is in love.”

The pen dropped to the floor and Akane flinched slightly at the exclamation of her colleague.Yayoi was quiet, but when she said something she was very sharp. And this time, she wasn’t wrong either.  
Akane couldn’t help but remember what had happened a few several weeks ago. 

**************************************************************************************************

„So… Will you show me around?“

“Show you around?” Akane glanced at Kogami with a questioning look.

“Just because I arrived earlier than you yesterday, doesn’t mean that I’ve checked out your house. I might be a criminal but I respect people’s private lives.” Kogami snorted jokingly.

“Ah, sure…” Akane dropped her empty cereal bowl in the sink and walked ahead of the waiting man. 

She showed him the guest room first which had its own shower. She loved how convenient her new place was. Now she could invite friends over for a longer period of time. The room was equipped quite Spartan, but Kogami was glad to have a bed to sleep in.

Next, was a quick look into her room. A few boxes here and there signalized the unfinished moving. Kogami noted that he had imagined her bedroom to be more childish. However, there were no colorful cushions or corny decorations. Didn’t she use to have a whale alarm clock in her old flat? None of the childish charm her old apartment had offered was here.

Akane was an adult now.

Kogami whistled quietly when she showed him her training room. Tatami mats were cushioning the floor, she had a treadmill in there. A small variety of training equipment, even small weights lined up by size on the floor.

“I ordered a sparring drone but it hasn’t arrived yet!” Akane smiled gently at him and he wondered why she would need one in the first place.

“You told me you knocked out that Togane guy with one move. Care to tell me how exactly?”

His ex-inspector explained to him how she had distracted Sakuya Togane with a flashlight just to twist his hand behind his back and push him so that he stumbled over the train rails, which she cuffed him to.

Kogami almost dropped the cigarette he was holding between his lips.

“You did what?” He still couldn’t believe his ears, “Damn, you sure were lucky! Or that Togane guy wasn’t as good as I thought. As a former inspector and a long-time enforcer he should have been better than that.” Kogami scratched his chin, thinking. She shouldn’t have had a chance. It would have been so easy to free himself from a grip like that.

“I need to show you a few things. Things that will be practical once your work place will switch to a battlefield.”

They stayed in her training room for hours.

********************************************************************************************

Akane opened the door to the terrace, walking into her overgrown garden to the small meadow that bordered on her property. Kogami was sitting on the grass, staring into the starry sky. And while the lights of the sky were dimmed with the ones of the city, he could clearly see some of them. She came closer and sat down beside him. Kogami looked up at her, and [with one glance] she knew that he was worrying about something.

“I don’t understand you. There are ash trays all over your house, your own cigarettes, but you never smoke them. The smell is always on you, so you must at least light them up. But why?” He asked quietly, sitting up and shifting closer to her. “It doesn’t make any sense to me.” Kogami told her honestly.

Akane leaned back, letting her body sink into the cool grass that offered refreshment as a contrast to the sticky hot summer air. Avoiding Shinya’s eyes, she turned away, looking into the distance.

“It helps me think?” she tried, but Shinya wasn’t easily deterred.

“Nonsense. The substance contained in cigarettes that helps people concentrate is nicotine. To get enough nicotine for that, you have to inhale the smoke into the deepest parts of your lungs right from the source. Otherwise it’s useless. It doesn’t help you think. Don’t think I’d believe you’re that stupid.” His words might have sounded harsh, but his voice wasn’t judging, just slightly worried.

“Try to figure it out on your own. You’re smarter one of us two.” Akane smiled.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. You’ve grown a lot as an inspector. But let me try.”

Kogami faced the dark sky, staring at it deeply, as if trying to find the answer there.

“I don’t want to give myself too much credit. But it might be that you miss me.” He mused jokingly, not realizing the truth behind his words.

Akane shifted closer in reply, leaning against his shoulder. Without any shyness she snuggled her cheek on him like on a comfortable cushion.

“It’s a little bit more complicated. I associate cigarettes with you because of their smell. And when I used to work with you, I could learn from you better. I was always concentrated. In the end, I felt the safest when I smelled cigarette smoke. So, I guess we can blame you for my new habit.” Akane chuckled softly and under the starlight, she looked beautiful to him. She always had.

“We gotta break the habit then.” Kogami rolled over to trap the beautiful woman beside him under his body. His face was so close to hers that she could feel his whispers on her lips.

“I’m open for a new addiction.” He breathed hoarsely before kissing her sensually. Their bodies were too close but fitted together like puzzle pieces. Akane felt so incredibly safe under with him, letting go was out of the question now.

Feeling curious, Akane decided to see how it would feel like to stroke the hair of the person she loved. Shinya’s hair felt wet, he had taken a shower before relaxing on the grass. His skin smelled clean and it was addicting. Kogami seemed to appreciate the affection and rubbed his nose against hers.

“This will be my new addiction.” Akane confessed, moving her hand all along his scalp, enjoying the feeling of full hair under her touch.

Then, Kogami’s face became soft. He looked at her with eyes filled with full of tenderness and stared deep into her soul, lips trying to say something while his mind couldn’t.

“Akane, I…”

Akane shared the same gaze with him, and everything around them blurred away.

Everything but the sounds of a helicopter flying their way.

Akane’s eyes widened in shock.

Of course, helicopters weren’t anything extraordinary, but what… what if someone was searching for Kogami? It seemed like he could read her mind [because in the next second] he jumped up quickly, getting to his feet and pulling her up.

“Hide my stuff. I’ll run. I’ll call you when I’m safe.” He managed to bark before turning around. He sprinted towards a small group of hologram trees, running towards a forest out of skyscrapers and buildings.

Once he reached the narrow alleys of the city, nobody would able to find him. A chopper with headlights passed Akane over the sky, searching for something – or someone. For the pilots, she was just one of those people who relaxed outside after their hard day at work. She was not their aim. They continued to search the neighborhood but the area was not suited for helicopters.

Later, she could hear dogs barking in the distance.

But nobody checked her house or came close to it.

*********************************************************************************************************************

 

How long had it been now? Three weeks? It seemed to be eternities. As she sat in her office, time went by slowly. Akane sighed at her computer screen for probably the fiftieth time.

Her two colleagues seemed to have forgotten about her, quarreling about the secrets of love and sex. Shion couldn’t see a difference while Yayoi gave up trying to explain to her.  
Her shift ended after what felt like an eternity, everything was quiet at the headquarters. She headed for the shuttle station, the speed train carrying her home with the speed of light.

Kogami hadn’t shown up after his last visit, nor had he contacted her. He had been at her place several times now, but his disappearance scared her. What if he had gotten caught? What if the system caught him? It would make sense to keep it secret from her.  
His stuff was well-hidden under the guest room’s floor tiles, waiting lonely for its owner.  
After having a light dinner, the young woman fell asleep on her couch while the TV showed her pictures of the bright future of her society. Dressed in nothing but her yellow pajamas, she showed enough skin to feel the slight chill in the air and her skin was covered by goose bumps quickly. She was lucky that her nightly visitor wouldn’t let her freeze any longer.

 

Kogami arrived late and assumed Akane would be already sleeping. Right now, he couldn’t contact her. His communicator had broken during his last escape. So, he had to come uninvited. He knew exactly where she hid the spare terrace keys, not wanting to have any attention on the front door. After all, she hid them for him only. Under the third rock in the backyard, in an empty flower pot, he fished out the tiny keys that would let him inside. Quietly, he unlocked the terrace door that led to the kitchen. On his way to the living room, he spotted food in the already cold stove. He couldn’t resist grabbing a few bites. Was it supposed to be omelet? In the darkness he couldn’t see it but it tasted good anyways. However, he came to his senses too late. He accidently ate all the leftovers. It looked like there was no other way around but to cook for her in the morning as an apology. But at least, his hunger was somewhat quenched.

He tip-toed quietly from the kitchen into the living room, the sleeping person on the couch startled him at first, but it took him only one moment to realize that it was his ex-inspector. She was sprawled out on the couch, breathing quietly and dressed in nothing but shorts and a yellow tank top. She was obviously freezing, pressing her legs to her body while her face showed a displeased expression. Seeing her like this made Kogami smile secretly. Sure, he wanted to kiss her in her sleep but being a man of honor, he could only do so with her consent.

He came closer, his feet quiet on the ground as he scooped her in his arms. Slowly, he lifted her and her body started to shift slightly. She woke up in his arms, but his smell gave him away so she was not afraid. It was the scent of burned tobacco that she knew too well.

“Kogami-san…” she murmured softly, her eyes opening slightly. In the darkness of her home she couldn’t see his face but she knew it was him anyways. A hand went up to his face to pat his cheek gently to make sure she was right.

“I missed you too,” Shinya smiled at her. “Sorry I didn’t call you, I lost my communication device and there were no safe lin – mmmpf!” He was silenced effectively by her lips on his.

He had been gone for too long, without the possibility to leave her a note that he was alive and well and would return to her. The last three weeks had been hell to her, but never did she doubt that he was alive.

To say he wasn’t surprised would be a blatant lie. Shinya felt his knees weaken all just by a simple kiss from the woman he wanted to be with.

“It’s alright.” Akane sighed once their lips parted. She snuggled closer to him.

“You’re a lightweight, you know that?” He pecked her on her forehead, continuing his way to her bedroom. Right now he doubted she would make him leave it anytime soon and it made his heart beat in his chest much louder.

Once in her bedroom, he slowly let set her body down on her bed. In the very same second, he was pulled on it, too, making them both sit on it. And from that moment, the air in the room grew hot and heavy and they couldn’t stay apart much longer.

Their kiss grew more passionate with every second, Shinya’s hands roamed curiously over her slender back. Akane’s hands caressed his face gently, feeling the rough stubble on his cheeks. They parted quickly, just for a few moments to look into each other’s eyes, both seeing nothing but honest desire. So, they continued. Akane was pulled closer, onto his lap, where she made herself comfortable, assaulting her lover’s lips with her own. She kissed him gently and eagerly while his hands wandered under her shirt. She got too distracted. Akane grinded her hips unconsciously in his and yelped in surprise in the next second. Kogami bit her lip, strong enough to scare her and pulled her away just to press his head against her stomach. 

“Kogami-…san!” she stuttered, “What was that for?”

“Sorry…” He breathed hoarsely into her shirt, “Sorry. Need cold shower.” Shinya panted, avoiding her gaze.

How had she not noticed? Under the rough fabric of his pants she now felt pressure building up. He was definitely aroused and she was the cause of it.

By now, Shinya began to move. He tried to stand up and place Akane away from him, but she pinned him down, with his back on the bed.

“Cold. Shower.” He repeated himself again in a rough voice. Akane only chuckled softly.

“You know, there are other ways to…” she looked down at the tent in his pants, “to resolve this situation.” She smiled coyly, nuzzling her cheek against his, some of her bronze hair fell onto his face, tickling him softly. Kogami only sighed quietly. Akane discouraged by this, quickly backed away.

“Unless you don’t want to, of course.” Her face became quite disappointed quickly.

When Kogami saw her expression he almost flinched. Did she, even for one moment, imagine to be undesired by him?

“No, no. No no no no no!” He uttered quickly. “Stupid, I want to. I’d love to.” His voice was breathless and he pulled her back down to him, kissing her gently on her forehead.  
“Then what’s…” She got interrupted quickly.

“Where I come from, we woo the girl before we do anything. Like in the past, like in my books, you know about courting? And how long it can take? I… You are special. I don’t want to hurry.”

“You don’t have the luxury to let yourself have sweet time to court now!” She exclaimed, slightly frustrated. “We can’t date in public or meet every day. You can’t walk into the florist and buy me flower bouquets. We can’t enjoy fancy dates. And as far as I know, you could die every day! What if you won’t come back the next time?” Akane bit her lip in frustration. Was it so wrong wanting the one she loved for so long?

“Alright, I give up.” She proclaimed, sulking slightly. On the other hand, she respected his decision not to rush things, even if it didn’t make sense in their situation. But he didn’t need to know just yet.

Shinya’s hands snaked themselves slyly around her waist, pushing her closer to him, pulling both down on their sides. He nuzzled the top of her head eagerly.

“How about next time? I’ll make sure it will be perfect.” He saw her eyes lighting up when she looked up at him.

“And meanwhile,” He looked straight into her beautiful eyes, “We can solve my little problem in a different way. We can try things out tonight without going all the way.” Shinya whispered affectionately.

“Are you sure?” Akane cocked an eyebrow, not able to contain a shy grin. Kogami nodded at her.

“Are you, really, really sure?” She didn’t want to force anything on him. Sure, she had been a little impatient before, but she respected his decision.

His answer was nothing but a breathtaking kiss, one so passionate that she was completely taken aback yet again. They continued to caress each other, hands wandering curiously under clothing. Kogami couldn’t take it any longer, the bulge in his pants unbearably tight as he sucked on Akane’s neck.

They parted, Akane took a look at the obvious bulge in his pants.

“May I?” She asked again, just to make sure none of them were uncomfortable. Kogami pulled her into his arms, nodding heavy as he buried his face in her hair.

Her hands wandered towards his jeans, undoing them carefully and yanking them down a little, earning her a loud hiss into her hair, tickling her. Never had she felt so curious before. She began to massage the bulge that was clearly visible in his underwear. It felt firm and hot and she couldn’t wait any longer when she heard his loud panting. Akane slipped her hands underneath the grey boxers and pulled out his manhood. Her slender fingers gripped around his girth, beginning to stroke it gently in painfully slow motions. Her touch was feather-light and Kogami growled in frustration. Hearing it, Akane looked up innocently to him just to start caressing his chest, leaving a trail of kisses along his solar plexus. As Kogami threw his head back in ecstasy and closed his eyes to enjoy her fully, Akane’s strokes became firmer and more confident. Her hand closed to a fist as she guided his erection through it, pressing on his head firmly and smearing the leaking pre-cum all over it. It was pulsing slightly, twitching now and then, signalizing that he wouldn’t last long under these conditions.

Akane had to admit – her hands began to feel tired. But she wanted to make this man – who was panting loudly above her – come, hard. She used both hands now, enveloping him more snugly between her palms. Shinya moaned loudly, not able to hold it back and suggested:

“Let me…” He huffed and clenched her body tightly to his own. He began to thrust his hips slowly to the rhythm of Akane’s hands. She licked her lips. Soon he would thrust just like that inside her. The fire in the pit of her stomach was ignited again, burning even more brightly than before. Oh, she wanted him and to have him completely she would wait as long as it would take.

He was close now, his breathing was wild and he was sweating. Akane couldn’t help but to suck on his neck, where his pulse beat the loudest. A loud gasp escaped his throat and she took it as a sign.

She was curious about his body and his reactions, her lover’s body was still a mystery to her and to still that interest she removed one hand from him just to place it back on his chest. Her other hand squeezed hard around his member, as the former found his nipple and scratched it, wondering what his reaction would be.

He growled loudly, unable to contain anything inside. His member twitched in her hand a few times before he came. Big spurts of seed escaped him, coating her hands in gooey white as he continued throbbing in her hands. Kogami gasped and stuttered nonsensical words, panting quickly as he saw stars. He hugged her tightly and pulled her close to him to breathe softly into her neck as he came down from his high.

Meanwhile, Akane looked at her hands and tried not to make any more mess. She was lucky her tissues were on her nightstand as she grabbed the box and pulled a few out. She cleaned herself, then him as he lay there with her, his chest rising and falling quickly.

Throwing the tissues away, she gave her hand another look just to discover that some of of his cum was still left on her. She eyed it curiously, wondering how it would taste like. Kogami was observing her through heavy-lidded eyes, completely absorbed in the afterglow. She met his eyes, smirked shyly and let her hand ever-slowly to her mouth, to give it a short lick, to taste him on her. Shinya’s eyes widened, his lips formed a hungry grin.

“Oh no, you didn’t!” In a mere moment she was on her back, pinned tightly to the bed by his body, not able to move much. His lips were planting open-mouthed kisses over her neck, sucking greedily on her skin. A moan escaped her lips just to encourage him further.

“Payback time.”


	7. Chapter 7

It was hot. The desert was sizzling hot, but Kogami was too used to it to complain. He was lying behind a rock that gave him decent cover and even a little shade. His task was to overlook a certain area from afar and ring the alert if an enemy was nearby.

Lately it was hard for him to concentrate. His mind was on something else. His shooting abilities were getting worse and his comrades started to joke with him.   
Was he in love, they asked? 

He denied the answer every single time. He didn’t want to put Akane into danger by revealing the fact that they were a couple. Only one friend knew about his recent activities and it would stay this way.

Whenever he closed his eyes, the memories of their time together haunted him. Her smell, her eyes, her taste and her loud moans were imprinted in his brain.   
That night, after Akane pleased him, he returned the favor just as eager as she had been. He remembered it as if it was just yesterday. 

**************************************************************************************************************

The skin on her neck was so soft as he kissed her, his mouth wandered hungrily to the hem of her pajama top. 

“May I?” His eyes met hers as he asked for permission, which seemed unnecessary because Akane only nodded eagerly. He pulled the top down slightly, just enough to let his lips tease the valley between her breasts. He earned a quiet squeak from making him grin smugly, a deep cackle in his throat. Her hands tried to remove the disturbing clothes between them, but Shinya stopped her quickly.

“Don’t. Let’s leave that for the next time. Or else I’ll lose my mind.” He breathed out in a shaky voice, his eyes desperate. 

Here she was, laying on her bed, not even naked, and still he wanted her so badly that he feared for his sanity. Yet, he felt like he didn’t deserve all of her. He still felt guilty about their past. He left her when she needed them the most. Instead of hating him, Akane was lying underneath him, shaking from excitement and anticipation. His thoughts were interrupted as he was pulled down by her until their lips met in a kiss that outshadowed all the previous. 

This time, Shinya’s tongue slid into Akane’s mouth, licking the inside of her upper lip as an invitation for her to taste him further. Their tongues danced together, first shyly and curious, then confident and loving as their bodies pressed together like they were made for each other.

Kogami was losing his mind, Akane’s skin was so soft and smooth under his fingers that he couldn’t let them still. He tried to explore every centimeter of her milky skin that was hidden by the pajamas he was really starting to hate, even though it was his idea to keep clothes on tonight. His hands wandered all over her back, her sides and her legs, earning small shivers of delight from his precious lover.

He wanted to hear more. More of her voice. More of her laugh, to hear her call his name, to moan it. And he would make her do just that.

Breaking the kiss, his lips wandered down to her neck, licking her pulse, ignoring the urge to bite it, and going further down. The content her shirt was ignored, as he found his goal. 

Pulling the top just a little bit up, he kissed around her navel, making her giggle. She was ticklish and it made him drunk with happiness that he found out such a trivial thing.  
Then, her laughs were stilled by a sharp intake of breath. Shinya’s hand slipped inside her shorts and he pressed his hand against her groin. The other removed her shorts hastily. She was so wet, ne could clearly feel it through her underwear.

He was rock-hard again. 

But that wasn’t important at the moment. He had his girl right there and she was wet because of him. He clenched his teeth and hissed, too aroused to think straight.  
Few moments later, her shorts went flying across the room, leaving Akane in her white, lacey underwear. It wasn’t extravagant , rather simple, but The image was now forever imprinted in his mind. It was beautiful and still he couldn’t help but pull them off. 

His calloused hands were rough against her creamy thighs as he unwrapped her like a present. Throwing a glance at Akane, he saw her panting quietly, anticipating whatever he would do to her. A small hint of challenge and encouragement was in her eyes as she bit her lip and nodded quickly at him for him to continue.

He could barely see anything in the darkness of the room, but he was certain that she was perfect, down there and everywhere in every possible way. And he loved her so much that his heart dared to burst at any moment.

He barely remembered what happened afterwards. 

The images were blurry and his head was burning. He only remembered her smell, her taste, her flushed cheeks as she screamed his name, his tongue at her folds, his fingers deep inside her as he kept stroking her endlessly even through his hand started to feel numb. 

He ignored the cramps in his arm as he lapped up her juices, biting softly at her labia now and then just before licking her clit in long strokes with his tongue, his fingers not still for a moment.

Her hands were tangled in his hair, making him more encouraged than ever to keep going.

He didn’t stop until she squealed through her orgasm. Panting heavily, the blush still fresh on her cheeks, her chest rose and fell in an abnormal speed.

“Oh god. Oh god. Shinya…” she mumbled, not yet able to say anything else as tiny sweat droplets rolled down her forehead. He was breathing just as quick as he dropped down on the bed beside her, pressing her tightly against him again, engulfing her in his arms as her eyes closed and she fell asleep. He couldn’t resist kissing her goodnight on the top of her head. He pressed his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply.

He was still very aroused, but instead of taking care of it himself, he ignored his urges. He would have blue balls tomorrow, but he deserved that much.  
After all, he didn’t deserve her. That was his punishment – along of many others – for the sins he committed.

He wasn’t bitter about leaving his life under the Sibyl System. Not at all. What enraged him by now was the fact that he left Akane the way he did. He was so blind by the wish to kill Makishima that he forgot what he had lost.

He couldn't think about anything else except for how much he loved her. 

**************************************************************************************************************

Kogami sighed quietly at the sweet memory.   
The morning after, they cooked burgers. Akane had ordered fresh beef from the gourmet delivery service. It was real meat, not the usual SuperOats meat replacement, but she really wanted to try burgers. Once in a while she was able to spoil herself. Besides, she also wanted to spoil her lover. They cooked together and ate together and when the time to part arrived, they could barely let go of each other.

Kogami hugged her tightly as she nestled between his strong arms. He promised her that he would stay safe and come back to her soon. He gave her a present before he left – an old book with the name “Utopia”. Akane told him that she would cherish and read it. 

Kogami took his cigarette pack out as he heard the footsteps of his comrade coming closer. He pulled one fresh cigarette out, enjoying the smell emitted by it. He glanced at Smith, who was eyeing his cigarette with curiosity. Smith was younger than him but life already made him turn in to a very clever man. Kogami really liked this guy. He was one of the people who he actually trusted.

"Is that a present from your love?" the young mercenary teased his comrade. To his surprise, Shinya nodded firmly as he took the cigarette between his lips.

"Want one, too?" Shinya offered him the package and the younger man took one cigarette out, curious about the taste of brand name cigarettes from the overseas.  
"I've never smoked packed cigarettes. Only rollies." Shinya offered him his lighter. A fake Zippo that didn’t do the original justice. Smith brought the smoke to his lips just before lighting it and taking a good, long pull. He exhaled the smoke, his eyes far in the distance. 

"This tastes like crap! Absolutely terrible!" he exclaimed, shaking his head in disappointment.  
"Sorry. Those used to be my favorites, the cheapest brand in whole Japan, but I got used to it and really missed this familiar taste." Shinya laughed.   
Akane gave him a package of the cigarettes before he left. She said, she wouldn't need them anymore because they saw each other quite often. He was glad he could take those away from her.

"Mine taste be…”  
The younger never finished his sentence.   
The tactical drones came so quiet and fast, that neither of the two men noticed them. Shinya was thrown against one of the big rocks and was immediately out. He was lucky.  
He couldn’t see how his whole team was killed.

In the meantime, Akane sat on her couch in her living room, thousands of miles away from her lover. She was dressed comfortably, enjoying a relaxing day. The old book was resting in her hands. It was old, even ancient. The text was written 600 years ago and while the book was younger than that, it seemed really old. The pages had a gold finish on their edges, the book smelled like dust and old age. Akane loved everything about it. The roman was interesting, the idea of an ideal world existed as long as humanity itself.   
As she flipped the pages, a few dried and pressed flowers fell out from the book. Cornflowers, poppies and many others that were unfamiliar to her. They were all colorful and to Akane they were more beautiful than the huge bouquets they sold at the flower shop in the city. Akane smiled gently at the flowers, happy about the present. In the end, Shinya managed to woo her.

Then, suddenly she felt a sting in her heart. Something was off. Her breathing pace increased and she felt panicky. Something was going really wrong but she didn’t know what. Looking at the book and at the flowers that were now scattered on her couch, she wondered what it all meant. Then it dawned on her.  
“Shinya?”


	8. Everyone has out-of-body experiences now and then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't published anything since forever. I am terribly sorry. I really am. Your Kudo's and comments almost killed me. I've read every single comment, noticed every single kudo (thanks to my mobile phone) and every time I felt guilt for not continuing. I'll start college soon but plan to finish this fic before I do so.  
> The truth is, real life has been hard on me. But please forgive me.
> 
> Also, this chapter is not beta-ed. I dunno, I don't really want to bother my precious beta. However, if there are too many mistakes, then let me know and I'll let someone watch over it. Also, since I want this fic to end soon, I probably won't anyone beta any more chapters because it takes time.
> 
> Still, please enjoy this chapter.

When he woke up, he felt nothing but pain. His mind was cloudy and he slowly opened his eyes. Blood was making it impossible to see it clearly but he could make out a body lying in front of him. It was Smith. He was torn to pieces like someone’s rejected manuscript. Kogami didn’t realize this. Spinel cigarettes were scattered around him and the wind blew them away, like dry leaves that were swept away by the autumn breeze. The heat was unbearable. He closed his eyes again and fell back into his dreams.

He was in that field again. Golden ears of HyperOats were shaking gently in the mild breeze. The mountain birds sang their earpiercing songs. The sun was setting slowly, engulfing the world around him in crimson as he walked, Tsunemori in his arms. He carried her like a stray kitten. Bruises were on her face, her hair was matte. She was unconscious and didn’t register a thing. She was so fragile in his hands, so feather - light.

And yet she was the heaviest burden he ever had to carry.

Just a few more steps and he would let her down, on the hard floor. Just a little bit more. He couldn’t let go. His hands gripped her tightly. Would he leave bruises on her skin?  
He wasn’t holding her in his hands. Kogami was holding his sanity, his pride as an enforcer, his whole life. He would let go all of these things any moment now. Just a little bit more, he wanted to hold her a few seconds more.

Any more time and Makishima would escape. He was wounded, but not fatally. Akane was so heavy, he couldn’t keep her in his arms any longer. He had to let go.  
He took a deep breath and crouched to let her down. Something was weird in this familiar scenario. Her body… she was cold. He turned her face to look at her. Akane’s amber eyes stared coldly into his, all signs of life vanished from her body.  
“No…” He called to her. “This can’t be. No. No, no, no, no… Akane!”

 

His body twitched and his eyes shot open when he awoke. He was greeted by a pain that went deep inside his body. His voice was stilled immediately, he could barely breathe. When did they start to call each other by their names? Right, when they stayed awake the whole night, learning about each other’s bodies and minds. She was alive. And he… where was he?

Shinya looked around carefully, afraid to move too much. He felt nauseous immediately and therefore closed his eyes again. He was in a tent that was made out of fabric. Somebody must have pulled him out from the mess that he got himself into. The blanket that covered the entrance opened and an old man with a beard stepped inside. He mustered the man who was lying before him. Luckily, he spoke in the same language as Shinya did.

“Good evening, mercenary.” The old man spoke through his beard. His eyes were kind. This person wouldn’t kill him, so much was guaranteed. Shinya shifted slightly. He was lying on a thin makeshift bed, his clothes were gone and his side was bandaged.

“Where am I?” He managed to cough out. He felt like puking again. Shinya felt horrible.

“We are a group of nomads that passed the desert region. We found you among corpses. Shambala’s drones must have had destroyed your group. Luckily we arrived right after they left. You were lucky.”

Kogami remembered. He woke up between leftovers of Smith’s body and the smell of fresh tobacco just to fall unconscious again.

The content of Shinya’s stomach left the organ quickly. Shinya threw up, clear fluids escaped his throat as he coughed violently. He remembered. The black drone, he had seen it in the last moment. The machine threw him against a rock. There were also torn screams and blurry memories of the smell of smoke and fresh corpses.

“Not again!” He howled like a hurt animal. “First Sasayama, now Smith!” He was running on adrenaline. His body shook violently when he recalled the images in his head. It was all his fault. He was the one who didn’t concentrate on his duty. One moment, he was distracted for one moment only…

The old man held Shinya down, back into the makeshift bed. “You have to rest, mercenary. Your wounds are not severe. But you have a concussion, you will feel nauseous and your head might be spinning.”

The old geezer was absolutely right. His head hurt and the picture before his eyes span whenever he tried to close or open his eyes. Turning his head wasn’t a good idea, either.  
He felt so tired, everything felt so unreal. Shinya looked at the old man with a disbelieving glance and sank back in his bed. He wasn’t sure if he felt asleep too fast or fell unconscious again. 

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

_I am back in the desert. When I open my eyes, the sun stings harshly my scraped skin. Smith and Johnson lie close to me – or at least parts of them. When I look at them, I feel nothing. I am nothing – a shadow of a ghost. In this very second I’m no longer a part of the world._

 _

Now that I don’t exist, I can be everywhere and nowhere. Pictures flash before my mind, I can see the world as it is. I see the nomads in the desert. They wander from one point to another without a visible destination. I’ve met monads before. Their life is hard but simple. 

Then, I wander to the skyscrapers of the city I once lived in. I see smiling people walking besides each other on the busy sidewalks. I hear the beeping sounds of psycho pass scans. Everyone’s faces are beaming, but are they truly happy?

I see a guy who kisses his girlfriend on her forehead gently. An old woman grasps the hand of her husband firmly. A woman who proposes to her lover. You are all lying. You don’t love anyone. The guy can’t look his girlfriend in her eyes. He thinks she is disgusting but cannot say anything against sybil’s judgement – they should be together. So he stays with her even though his body doesn’t respond well to her presence. The grandma secretly still remembers her husband’s beatings which she promised to forget. She still loathes him for that. She will never forget. The woman just needs money. Her family is poor while the guy is rich so she clings to him like her life depends on it – and it does.  
This wasn’t what I and Akane shared. None of those people shared a connection with another as deep as ours. The society is led by the Sybil System, by a cold-blooded computer with no feelings. How could it understand the feelings of humanity? 

I drifted back to the golden desert. The heat seemed more bearable now. I see the monads living their lives. Their camels drink water greedily after a long day of travels. The children walk beside their parents as they smile. Life in the desert is hard, but far better than in the grey city I once left. Men and women stay together through the hardest times. They raise children even if parenthood in the desert is more than risky. 

There are things I would never understand. I sigh deeply as I feel myself being pulled back into my body. 

_

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Akane looked at the book in her hands. The cover was very simple, white letters on a green background. 1984 by George Orwell was a book that was hard to come by nowadays. “Can I lend it from you?” She asked, big eyes looked curiously at Joji Saiga who gave her a worried look.

“This book? It’s forbidden to read it. It’s known for clouding the hues of its readers.” He scratched his chin.  
“On the other hand… if your psycho pass shows no change, you could read it little by little.” His lips curved into a thin smile. He knew Akane well by now. She was probably the only one who could read this book and take no damage. 

As Akane left the prisoners facility, the book safely hidden in her handbag. Lately, her personal book shelf became quite full of forbidden books. However, her mind stayed clear. Those books never gave her wrong ideas – they helped her to understand the society as it was now, as it was predicted many years before its existence. And aside from a little martial arts and her job, she needed a hobby to distract herself from Shinya’s absence. 

Something might have happened to him – he didn’t show up or call for several weeks. But there was no reason for her to lose her cool. Crying wouldn’t help him coming back. And her intuition ensured her that he was alright. So she trusted him and waited for him.

And he called.

“This line isn’t safe. Don’t call my name. Don’t say a word. In two weeks – you know where…” Did she? Akane woke up to the sound of her private phone. As she picked up, those words were hissed quietly into her ear. It was Shinya, there was no doubt. She couldn’t think of any other safe place than Saiga’s home. As a reply, she breathed into the phone quietly. “Get there in two weeks from now on. At 3 PM, wait for me there.” He was clearly in a hurry and she heard static noise before he finally hung up.  
Akane fell back into her bed. The call was crazy altogether. It was him, she was sure. But he seemed to be in some kind of trouble.

Still, he probably risked his life to reach her and to meet her. She would be there, waiting for him. And now, her mind drifted back to sleep. The book on her night stand, 1984, was halfway finished. And as she dreamed, she saw Shinya and her in a forest. They hid behind ferns, covered by the shadows and looking at a thrush sitting on a bough. Bathed in sunlight, the bird didn’t notice them. It opened its wings, closing them in their place again and ducked its head – as if bowing to the sun – and then it began to sing. A torrent of a song poured from its beak, the animal sang to no one but itself. And both, Shinya and Akane listened to the bizarre and fantastic song in awe. Any moment now they would start to kiss and hold each other. She wished she didn’t have to wake up. But the chaotic melody of the bird turned into ugly beeps of her alarm clock. It was time to wake up and go to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last paragraph, of course, is a reference to George Orwell's 1984

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first longer fanfic.
> 
> I started chapter 1 back in December. Now I'm at chapter 8 and I sure grew while writing this fic.
> 
> Please read it, witness my growth, the slow building of a style, my mistakes and failures. It's all present in this fic.
> 
> I'm happy about every single comment, read and kudo's.
> 
> Please encourage me to write further.


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